Book Idea #1

Third Wheeling Through Life

A man who remains single his entire life and mainly socializes with couples. He moves from couple to couple. He observes relationships from a curious distance. How do these people do it? Arguments seem nonsensical. Emotions confuse logic. Can't crack the code.

Creo que si.

That some people are born with cool hair and some are not and there's not a damn thing anybody can do to change their hair class. Research is pending.

More likely than not

Things turned out better this way.

Tonight

I ate my dinner on the toilet (using it as a chair w/ cover down) and then went running in an ice storm.

First

The last time i drank this much I ended up playing around on facebook. For the next week i would get friend confrimations from poeple from the "you might know" recommendations. Lesson learned. Real

Doogie Howser

Doogie Howser is a kindred spirit. Except I'm not a doctor, a genius, or a teenager.

Gurl

You look so good, you should be a cylon.

Only

Only in the original Dune can you see Patrick Stewart leading the siege against alien super-soldiers with a pug strapped to his chest.

Life

I'm in bed, in my boxers, eating taco bell burritos and I've got to wonder. Can life get any better than this?

Jimmeny Crickets!

I wish I could at least fake an interest in sports. In the business world you come off like a giant tool if you don't know that shit. Do you know those games are like two hours long?? Think of all the other cool stuff I could be doing. And on Sunday they have them on all day and on Monday you are supposed to talk about everything that happened. I don't want to spend my Sunday watching that shit all day. I want to do something. Read a book, climb rocks, join a fight club.

Xanga had this cool thing that let you show people what you were reading. It was a good and subtle way to let people know how well read and intellectual I was. Now I have to do it manually. The book is called Blink and I actually heard about it from my Dad. It's a psychology book about the power of the unconscious to make better decisions with very little information versus a decision made with pages and pages of raw information. That was a horrible explanation but if you read two pages of it you wouldn't be able to put it down. Blink.

I guess all I really want in a girlfriend is a girl who will make all my ex-girlfriends jealous. That's really my only requirement.

I think I'm gonna start posting on my xanga again.

quote

"beeeeee yourself."
-Genie

Requisites for girl friend...

1. Bangs: At first I thought that maybe I just really liked bangs but lately I'm thinking that maybe I just find foreheads really unattractive.
2. AT&T Cell Phone Service: Hey, free mobile to mobile. I'm not made of minutes.
3. The ability (or mental retardation) to laugh at anything I say.
4. A dorky interest or hobby that allows me to feel more comfortable being dorky myself.
5. Cool spending a Sunday watching Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon.
6. An intense hatred of all sports. (Strong boredom at the least)
7. Wicked boobs

Memories

The last time I visited my grandpa in the hospital I showed him pictures of my uncle's new cabin on my iphone. Once he got used to the finger flick browsing he quickly went through all of the cabin pictures and into my personal ones. There was a slight pause until he said, "Sorry, Dave. Do you have stuff on here I shouldn't see?" I instictively grabbed the phone out of his hands, worried he would see a picture of me drinking or out at a bar. Later I realized that I didn't have any pictures like that and I felt really bad about it. Once for taking away the phone he was obviously interested in as he lay on a hospital bed covered in tubes and twice because the absence of any pictures that would offend my sunday school teaching, WWII vet grandpa kinda means in a way my life is boring.

I'm Funny

When I came back from lunch today a couple of coworkers commented on my handspun-awesomeness Chic-fil-a milkshake. I told them I was getting a head start on my New Year's resolution. Curiously, they asked what my resolution was and I said, "to drink more milkshakes."